Three Pillars of Couples Communication



Written by: Alyssa McCarthy / Couples Communication / February 23rd, 2018

March is couples communication month at Well Said. We are sharing our insights to achieving strong, healthy relationships. 

It's a good idea to pause and reflect about your relationship from time-to-time to ensure you and your partner are communicating effectively and that you are both satisfied and happy with your dynamic.

This blog post shares three main pillars of couples communication and provides some helpful food-for-thought for people in romantic relationships. 

Read on!


Get Back to the Basics with Small Talk

Not every conversation has to be saturated in depth with analysis and philosophical debates or plans for the future. Strive for balance in your couple’s conversational style by incorporating some light and easy small talk. Sure, you can exchange details about your days or pass along the latest office/family/friend gossip, but if you really want to make an impact, create new memories together and engage in talk about those experiences — shared experiences. 

Share what you love about each other

You wake up to find your lunch, packed and ready to go. 

You dream of their embrace after a few days apart or a long day at work. 

You love their sympathetic nature, especially when you’re feeling under the weather!

You can’t help but smile when you notice those adorable, bare, familiar legs as your partner rummages through the fridge. 

You love hearing that soothing voice that keeps you calm and centred. 

What do you appreciate about your partner? Get comfortable sharing it!

The smallest steps toward expressing gratitude and appreciation will reinforce why you chose to be with this person and will make them feel loved and acknowledged. Not to mention, an action that is positively acknowledged is more likely to re-occur! 

Remember that you're on the same team

It can be easy to get carried away with trying to make your point understood, especially when emotions are involved. Check in to see if you’re using the best communication strategies when dealing with conflict with your loved one. 

  • Address conflict instead of avoiding it 
  • Instead of making accusations, use “I statements”, like “I feel…”, “I need…”, “I want…”
  • Use active listening skills; this means listening with the open eyes, ears, body, and heart
  • Acknowledge what you see and hear before you continue with your input or explanation
  • Set boundaries for conflict management; what warrants a pause or “time out”? 
  • Aim for shared problem-solving 
  • Know when to seek professional help and guidance 


If you suspect your relationship could benefit from professional help and guidance, let us know. Call us at 647-795-5277 or send us an email: