The Non-Linear Path Of Effective Communication & Trauma Healing
Written by: Shalyn Isaacs / Communication Coaching / December 6, 2021 / 10 minutes read
When I was first introduced to the stages and dimensions of recovery from trauma outlined in the article “A Stage-by-Stage Dimension Model of Recovery from Sexual Trauma” by Lebowitz, Harvey, and Herman (1993), I was fascinated and stunned that there was actually a model created that outlines the stages of trauma recovery in the context of therapeutic treatment. Throughout my time working in the area of communication and leadership from a psychotherapy approach, I have begun to wonder how our journeys with enhancing our communication with others is also a stage-by-stage process and is influenced by our trauma healing journeys as well.
The Uniqueness of Healing and Communication Development
After reading this article, the new insight that I gained was that although a model of trauma recovery exists and certainly reflects the different stages that many trauma survivors likely encounter throughout their recovery process in therapy, every person’s journey recovering from interpersonal trauma will look different and people can move between stages because trauma recovery is not a strictly linear process. Similarly, I believe that everyone’s communication struggles are different and stem from diverse mental health experiences and life experiences. Therefore, I have come to think that the journey of enhancing one’s communication is also a non-linear journey. Clinically, I believe the process of developing different communication strategies is also a journey of unlocking the beliefs that keep one feeling trapped in a certain communication pattern with others. When we can uncover these blocks – we can change them.
The three main stages of trauma recovery that are commonly experienced by trauma survivors within a therapeutic treatment context were developed by Judith Herman (1992) and are referred in sequence as “Safety”, “Remembrance, Integration and Mourning”, and “Reconnecting with Others.” In addition to these three main stages, the authors also provided seven dimensions of recovery criteria that “can be used to determine successful recovery in seven domains of experience frequently effected by trauma” which include: Memory, Affect Range and Tolerance, Memory and Affect, Symptom Mastery, Self-Esteem, Attachment, and Meaning (Lebowitz, Harvey & Herman, 1993).
How can this information from these researchers offer us insight into the nature of how communication styles develop and can be changed? I believe that as our mental health and trauma recovery processes evolve, our communication abilities also shift and change as well. For example, as our sense of safety, memory, attachment, self-esteem, and emotional regulation are addressed in therapy, it can be possible that our ways of communicating and relating to ourselves and others can change as well.
According to Herman’s (1992) stages of trauma recovery is unique to one’s own cognitions, feelings, and experiences. In terms of improving one’s communication - that journey will also look different for every person who chooses to engage in a therapeutic alliance to address their mental health and communication/social skills problems. Every time that you find yourself needing to return to an earlier stage of your mental health journey, I think it is important to remember that you will always find something deeper to understand about yourself, relationships, or life in general from a renewed perspective that further facilitates your healing and growth.
Clinically, I believe the process of developing different communication strategies is also a journey of unlocking the beliefs that keep one feeling trapped in a certain communication pattern with others.
Acceptance, Compassion and Enhancing Communication
Through the acceptance of the reality that it is normal for individuals to progress non-linearly through the stages of trauma recovery, one can experience more compassion for oneself as they navigate their recovery process. Therefore, from here I believe one may find it easier to express empathy and compassion for themselves and others as they work through navigating the stages of their mental health journeys with a clinician in ways that impact their communication abilities.
It is normal to experience times when one becomes frustrated with themselves because they are finding themselves “stuck” within a certain stage or feel as though they are not progressing quickly enough through their journey of mental health and communication enhancement.
Through the insight I have gained and outlined in this paper, I believe it is important to normalize the imperfection and messiness of mental health healing combined with journeys of communication enhancement. It is valuable for people to have compassion for themselves as well as they navigate each stage of their recovery, which is particularly important for trauma survivors who often struggle with having compassion for themselves.
Reflection Questions
What expectations do you hold of yourself regarding your journey with your mental health and/or communication enhancement? Where do you think these expectations come from? How can one learn to accept and sometimes even embrace the non-linear trajectories of their life paths? How does one want to live and communicate with others? What are small steps one can take each day to move them closer to improving their mental health and communication from a self-compassionate place?
To work with Shalyn Isaacs as your psychotherapist (qualifying) at Well Said: Toronto Speech Therapy, schedule an initial consultation by clicking the link below or by calling (647) 795-5277.
