Tone: When Words Aren't Enough

 

Author: Kendra Wormald, Reg. CASLPO Speech Language Pathologist
Date: Wednesday, October 01, 2025

Table of Contents

 

Tone vs. Mood

Tone: The use of pitch, volume, rhythm, pace, inflection and emotional colouring. Its focus is on the way you deliver your words. 
Tone = external delivery,perceivable by others

Mood: The emotional state behind the voice. These are the inner feelings that influence your tone. Mood = internal state, often unconscious 

There isn't, however,  a 1:1 correlation with your mood and tone. You have the control to feel an emotion (and whatever you feel is valid), however you don’t have to use that same emotion or the strength of it, in your tone. Imagine someone really angered you but it’s a colleague that you’re working on a critical project with. How do you respond? Well, it depends on what your intention is. The way you communicate in this moment may have long term consequences. Choosing to communicate with a neutral tone through volume control and even pitch changes, may mean you maintain the working relationship that’s needed for this project. 

Note, this doesn’t mean you don’t feel what you need to feel and it doesn’t mean you don’t say anything. See for more about The Role Emotion Plays On Communication And Professional Development and how to go about Reframing Conflict as Collaboration.

“When people shift away from being snippy, curt, snarky, derisive, or contentious, they usually become stronger communicators. They're now more grounded, more dignified when they bring up something. (Hansen, 2021)”

Two people can have the same mood but different tone. The mood you’re in doesn’t need to dictate how you communicate, these ideas can be separate. For example, I can feel angry and disrespected that you continue to show up late, but my tone can be calm, by not raising my volume, and being more neutral in my pitch.

Two people can also use the same tone, but have different moods. For example, two coworkers can both say the phrase “ I’ve got this under control” in a confident voice with consistent pacing. However one may feel quite nervous about the opportunity while the other is feeling confident. 

“Tone is the bridge between your words and the emotional impact they have on listeners. Words alone can be misunderstood, but tone gives them life and clarity.” (ReadSpeaker, 2023)

 

Why is Tone Important?

Tone shapes how your message is received.

  • It influenced how others understand you 

  • Example: Saying “Thanks a lot” said with a warm tone will communicate gratitude. If communicated with a sarcastic tone, you're expressing annoyance. 

 

Tone communicates emotion. 

  • Tone of voice conveys feelings instantly, without having to explicitly state your emotion. 

  • Example: When saying “ I can’t believe this” with rising tone and excitement it communicates surprise or joy. When saying this phrase with low, harsh and tense tone it communicates frustration or disbelief


Tone shapes relationships.

  • Example: A warm, friendly tone builds trust, rapport and openness. A harsh tone may create and increase tension or conflict.

  

Tone impacts influence, credibility and persuasion.

  • People are more likely to engage with, and believe a tone that aligns with the intended message and is consistent. 

  • Example: A motivational speaker’s words may not have the same impact if they’re said in a monotone voice rather than being dynamic and energetic.

“ We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.”  -  Friedrich Nietzsche

Tone impacts your mood

  • It also works the other way around, if your mood is ‘nervous’, speaking in a confident and lively tone can actually help you shift your mood to be more confident. 

  • Example: Consider this when going into nerve-wracking situations such as job interviews, presentations, or going on a date.  If you said “I’ve got this” in a shaky, low volume and  tone - you’re not going to believe it. If you say it with a  full confident volume and with pitch variability, you may even trick yourself into believing it.

 

Tone Across Different Contexts

Job Interviews:  

  •  Speak clearly 

  •  Keep a moderate and consistent pace 

  •  Use pitch variability

  •  Use warmth to sound approachable while maintaining authority and confidence in voice 

  •  Pause briefly before answering 


Public Speaking 

  • Emphasize key words through pitch and volume changes 

  • Pause or speak slowly prior to important points  speak faster for personal stories or anecdotes to convey excitement and engage the audience 

  • Pause strategically, allowing information to sink in and to gain attention 

  • Match your tone with the topic’s mood as it changes

Corporate/ Office Setting

  • Keep a calm, consistent and evenly paced tone for meetings and presentations

  • In team interactions, bring warmth through tone 

  • Use pitch variability and intentional pausing in more formal settings 


Client-Facing Roles, Customer Service

  • Friendly, patient and calm tone 

  • Speak clearly with intentional pausing, promoting room for questions or comments 

  • Use pitch variability to increase engagement 

  • Speak with an empathetic and understanding tone 

Leadership and Management

  • To encourage collaboration and trust, use a supportive tone

  • During challenging discussion or conflict, use a calm tone 

  • Keep the tone consistent to communicate credibility

Marketing Roles  

  • Playful, enthusiastic 

  • Avoid overly technical or flat tone 

Discussions with People in Authority

  • Confident, steady tone

  • Polite inflection 

  • Confident voice 

Virtual Communication 

  • Without physical cues, tone becomes even more important in communicating your message 

  • Speak a bit slower (~135 words per minute) to allow listener to process

  • Monitor volume and pitch as a microphone may change how these land increase harshness 

Social Gatherings

  • Light and lively tone that’s inclusive 

  • Use inflection and pitch change to express personality 

Conflict Resolution 

  • Calm, consistent neutral tone 

  • Avoid raising volume

“ When one is already in a critical frame of mind, taking a break or dealing with feelings directly can help people avoid a harsh tone.” (Hansen 2021)

 

How to Change Your Tone

Pitch (high vs. low)

  • High pitch → Excited, surprised, anxious.

  • Low pitch → Serious, calm, sad, angry.

Intonation (rise and fall of pitch)

  • Rising intonation (voice goes up) → Curiosity, uncertainty, questioning.

  • Falling intonation (voice goes down) → Confidence, finality, seriousness.

  • Wavy/melodic intonation → Playfulness, storytelling, enthusiasm.

Volume

  • Loud → Anger, confidence, excitement, urgency.

  • Soft/quiet → Shyness, sadness, secrecy, tenderness.

Tempo (speed)

  • Fast → Nervousness, excitement, eagerness.

  • Slow → Calmness, seriousness, sadness, boredom.

Pauses

  • Frequent pauses → Thoughtfulness, hesitation, uncertainty.

  • Few/no pauses → Confidence, nervous rush, anger.

Tone quality (voice color)

  • Breathy voice → Tired, sad, sensual.

  • Harsh/tense voice → Angry, stressed, annoyed.

  • Warm/bright voice → Friendly, happy, enthusiastic.

Example sentence: “It’s raining today.”

  • Happy: ↑ pitch, brighter tone, maybe faster — “It’s raining today!”

  • Sad: ↓ pitch, slower, softer — “It’s raining… today.”

  • Annoyed: Harsh, flat tone, maybe louder — “Ugh, it’s raining today.”

Surprised: High pitch, rising intonation — “It’s raining today?!”

 

Tonal Qualities and Emotion

 Happy / Excited

  • Pitch: Higher than usual

  • Tempo: Medium-fast

  • Intonation: Big rises and falls (sing-song)

  • Volume: Louder, energetic
    Tone quality: Bright, open, smiling voice

Sad / Disappointed

  • Pitch: Lower, dropping at the end

  • Tempo: Slow

  • Intonation: Mostly falling, flat at times

  • Volume: Soft

  • Tone quality: Breathy, heavy, sighing

Angry / Annoyed

  • Pitch: Mid-low, steady

  • Tempo: Medium-fast, clipped words

  • Intonation: Narrow range, flat or sharp

  • Volume: Louder, tense

  • Tone quality: Harsh, tight voice

  • Example line: “This is not acceptable.”

 

Surprised / Shocked

  • Pitch: High, jumps suddenly

  • Tempo: Quick

  • Intonation: Strong rising at the end

  • Volume: Medium-loud

  • Tone quality: Open, breathy, wide-eyed

 

Calm / Peaceful

  • Pitch: Medium-low

  • Tempo: Slow and steady

  • Intonation: Gentle, smooth, falling at the end

  • Volume: Soft to medium

  • Tone quality: Warm, relaxed

 

Playful / Teasing

  • Pitch: Higher, with bounces

  • Tempo: Medium

  • Intonation: Wavy, exaggerated

  • Volume: Medium

  • Tone quality: Light, mischievous

Serious / Formal

  • Pitch: Even, steady

  • Tempo: Medium-slow

  • Intonation: Controlled, little variation

  • Volume: Medium

  • Tone quality: Clear, firm

 

Conclusion

No matter your mood, you have the ability to shift your tone to express what you actually  intend to communicate. The concepts of tone and mood can be separate however they can also influence each other. As a communicator, tone is a tool you have to use to your advantage. When tone is congruent with our message, we can build credibility, influence and relationship. Are you just saying words or are you communicating a message? Your tone will tell.

 

References

 

To speak with a psychotherapist or one of the speech-language pathologists at Well Said: Toronto Speech Therapy, schedule an initial consultation by clicking the link below or calling (647) 795-5277.

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AdminWell Said: Toronto Speech Therapyspeech-language pathologist, speech therapist, speech teacher, Kendra Wormald, professional communication, communication skills