Introduction
You’ve seen it in a meeting: two people share great ideas but only one is really heard or acknowledged. That person spoke with clarity and calmness and authority and they didn’t rush into responding – that’s gravitas. In this article, we’ll break down what gravitas is (and isn’t) and how to build the communication habits that strengthen executive presence, without sounding harsh or rehearsed.
Communication is the #1 Workplace Skill
Communication isn’t a ‘nice to have soft skill’ but rather one of the scarcest yet sought-after skills in the modern job market.
According to reports from LinkedIn and Harvard’s Division of Continuing Education, communication has been ranked as the most in-demand workplace skill over the last two years. (Bessalel, 2024; Harvard Extension School, 2024; Russell, 2024; Toastmasters International, 2024). The Future Skills Centre (Canada) found that employers specifically look for listening and communication skills as core skills and find these skills to be some of the most challenging to recruit for (Rose, 2024).
Gravitas
You hear people say, “they have gravitas”, but what does that actually mean? Let’s first talk about what it isn’t. Gravitas in communication isn’t about being loud, speaking the most, being overly serious or bossy. It is about displaying credibility, a calm demeanor and clarity, despite feeling nervous or under pressure
Gravitas = what you say x how you say it x how you show up
What this looks like:
- You sound like you know what you’re talking about
- You entice people and maintain their attention
- Your message is intentional, grounded and clear
Listeners experience gravitas as, “I can trust this person to lead, make sound decisions and communicate clearly”.
Gravitas in the Workplace
Below are a few ways to use your communication skills to exude gravitas and show up with executive presence, in every conversation.
1. Pausing and Pacing
I get it, sitting in silence is painful, it’s uncomfortable – but it doesn’t have to be. What if you saw the ability to sit in silence as a high-level skill, one that sets you apart from less successful speakers? How would that change how you communicate and perceive the silence of others?
Think about successful and impactful speakers such as Barack and Michelle Obama, Brené Brown, Greta Thunberg and various TED speakers. Their silence and consistent pacing makes them sound more confident and compelling, not nervous or arrogant. Instead of worrying that someone will cut you off or become uninterested, focus on the facts of what pausing does offer. Here’s what those benefits look like in real life:
- Time to consolidate, so you don’t repeat yourself. You finish your point, pause, then add one clear and intentional next sentence, rather than circling back (So yeah, like I said…)
- Exude confidence and calmness rather than urgency or panic
- You don’t rush to fill the silence. You intentionally allow what you just said to have a moment to simmer and resonate with the listener.
- You pause and scan the audience. Checking in to assess confusing, nods, disengagement then adjust with “let me rephrase that” or “here’s what that looks like”
- You have time consonants at ends of words to be crisp, your words don’t slide together and you pronounce words accurately
- You show you care about a topic. You pause before an important point as if to say “ This matters”
- Emotional regulation instead of impulsiveness. You get asked a question, pause, then respond.
- Fewer fillers. Instead of “um’s and uh’s”, you pause to think, then speak
Try this: Say the sentence without stopping, then add a 2 second pause where indicated. “Practice is the only way (pause) to excel at a skill consistently.” The paused version typically sounds more deliberate, confident and easier to follow.
2. Breath
Although we breathe 200,000+ times a day, effective breath use in communication is one of the most challenging skills for the vast majority of my SLP clients. Effective breath support addresses both quality and quantity of the breath. It may seem like a simple automatic skill but breath can significantly impact how you communicate, how you feel while communicating and how others perceive you. When breathing during speech, consider the following tips:
- Breathe about every 8-10 words on average
- Optimize on breath mid-sentence. Think “1 thought, 1 breath”
- Expand your diaphragm on the inhale, without excess movement from the chest and shoulders
- Breathe in for about 1.5 seconds each time
- Never speak to the end of your breath, you should always have some air left over
- Keep a tall relaxed posture
- Gently engage your core as you speak
- Aim for a steady, gentle airflow on the exhale
- Trust your body to tell you when you need to breathe, don’t rely on the end of a sentence
Taking time to breathe also directly increases pausing and reduces pacing and fillers. If you don’t have enough oxygen your brain will often make you speak faster – simply because it’s trying to keep you alive. Reduced breath may increase physical tension leading to a stress response. When you’re in a stressed state your brain has difficulty differentiating between being chased by a tiger and doing a presentation. With a stressed or dysregulated nervous system your brain won’t allow you to focus on your communication but rather it just wants to keep you safe and alive.
Breath is foundational to all communication skills, especially those pertaining to confidence, credibility and overall gravitas. Good breath support will:
- Give fullness to your voice, making it more resonant
- Sustain loudness and projection to reach everyone in the room, consistently
- Reduce physical tension in your chest, throat, neck and shoulders
- Calm your nervous system
- Support thought generation
3. Tone and Emphasis
Have you listened to a presentation that seemed like the presenter would rather be anywhere else but doing that presentation? Using a monotone voice makes you seem uninterested or tired, key words don’t stick with the listener and your message won’t land as intended. Here’s how to maintain engagement, credibility, and spark curiosity:
- Use variability in pitch across your sentence
- Add emphasis by increasing volume slightly, stretch the word out, and go up and down in pitch.
- Make sure the emphasis is added to key ideas, what message do you want to communicate? For example, say the following sentence by adding emphasis to the bolded words. See how each sentence means something different, despite being the exact same words?
I want a new car – You vs. Jessica from accounting
I want a new car – Want vs. a need
I want a new car – New vs. old
I want a new car – Car vs. plane
- Don’t end your sentences with rising pitch (uptalk). It will likely come off as a question or that you aren’t certain about what you just said.
- Pause right after your emphasized word to gain attention, allowing the key words/ideas to resonate
4. Body Language
Gravitas isn’t just in what you say but in how you hold yourself. You want to look as steady and confident as you sound. Here’s how to do that:
- Ensure your gestures match your message. If you want to express excitement about a new idea, don’t have a frown, crossed arms or slouch your posture
- Use a warm expression especially under pressure
- Don’t move quickly, just like pausing – take your time to communicate with your body
- Take up the right amount of space. You want to find a sweet spot – not shrinking but also not dominating. You own your space and you’re confident to do so.
- Aim for a relaxed steadiness, not rigidity. Consider different gestures such as your legs being uncrossed and directed to the audience, hands in a more open posture or moving your hand while emphasizing a key word. You also don’t want to be pacing across the room during a meeting or presentation. Find the balance.
Practice, Practice and More Practice.
“You can’t skip the practice and rely solely on talent. Practice is the bridge between your abilities and success.” – Steve Nash
Whether for a job interview, presentation or even for greeting guests to your lobby, intentional repetition and reflection of how you want to communicate before the real-deal, is imperative.
Here are some tips:
- Practice within a low-stress, low-risk environment.
- In your own space, in your own time, imagine someone is asking you a professional question or that you have to explain an idea to a team member. You can do this in front of a mirror, camera, trusted communication partner or an empty chair.
- Practice communicating exactly as you would in a real-life situation.
- Reflect on specific aspects of your communication. Areas such as pacing, pausing, volume, emphasis, how you use your hands and facial expressions, and how you organize your thoughts.
- Ask yourself “ what was successful, where can I grow?” Then apply that feedback and repeat the task
Conclusions
The goal in speech therapy isn’t to turn you into a ‘fake executive. It’s to align your language, voice and presence so your unique expertise and ideas land with clarity, authority and impact. That’s gravitas, where people don’t just hear you – they trust you.
References
- Bessalel, S. (2024, February 8). LinkedIn 2024 most in-demand skills: Learn the skills companies need most. LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/business/learning/blog/top-skills-and-courses/most-in-demand-skills LinkedIn
- Toastmasters International. (2024, May 7). Communication tops the list of most in-demand skills in 2024 [Press release]. PR Newswire. https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/communication-tops-the-list-of-most-in-demand-skills-in-2024-302137607.html PR Newswire
- Rose, E. (2024). SES in the workplace: Insights from Canadian employers. The Conference Board of Canada. https://fsc-ccf.ca/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/ses-in-the-workplace_2024.pdf fsc-ccf.ca
- Russell, M. (2024, October 3). The top skills employers seek have nothing to do with technology. Professional & Executive Development | Harvard Division of Continuing Education. https://professional.dce.harvard.edu/blog/the-top-skills-employers-seek-have-nothing-to-do-with-technology/
