Introduction
Have you ever been in a situation when you were asked a question and you felt your mind went completely blank? You know you know the answer, but the words don’t seem to come out. Often, you may come up with a good answer after the fact, when it is already too late. Maybe this happened during a meeting when someone randomly asked you a question or for your opinion, or when someone asked you a question out of the blue during your presentation, and maybe you said something, but not as clearly and concisely as you would have liked. Sometimes, even the simplest questions can make us blank. Maybe it’s due to overthinking or trying to piece together information when asked something out of the blue that we weren’t prepared for. When this type of thinking happens often, it becomes even harder to respond, as we have trouble organizing our thoughts.
Sometimes, it can also be due to having English as a second language. Those who already feel less confident when speaking English may be constantly analyzing their speech and scanning whether they are using the correct vocabulary. So, when asked something out of the blue, this can become even more overwhelming. There is too much going on in the brain to be able to answer as clearly and confidently as you would like. Though freezing or blanking is a common thing that happens when we are asked questions, it is a normal response that may happen when there is too much going on in the brain. It doesn’t mean that you don’t know the answer.
Why Does This Happen?
When answering questions, there is a lot going on in our heads. We first listen to make sure we understand the question correctly, scan through information in our brain, organize our response, and find the words we want to use. We are often thinking about how to say it in the best way to sound intelligent so that we get an appropriate reaction from the other person. This in itself is a lot going on, and adding pressure from the situation makes it even harder.
This may often happen in professional situations when we are asked about our opinion on something unexpectedly. We begin to feel like we have to give a good, intelligent answer that sounds confident. But at the same time, we begin to doubt ourselves and our answer, and in the process, forget to mention an important point. By the time we think of everything, we may lose the clear answer along the way. This is why trying to come up with a perfect answer may actually make your answer sound worse. If it doesn’t sound organized or confident, and you use a few big words but your message isn’t delivered effectively, it can actually come across worse than a simple answer would.
What Can Help?
When answering questions, especially tough questions, one thing I always encourage clients to become more comfortable with is taking a short pause. Sometimes, people think that pausing can make it seem like they don’t know the answer, but truthfully, it often has the opposite effect. Most often, it can actually make your message sound more confident and intentional, and at the same time, it gives you time to process the question and formulate an answer without rushing it.
You can just take a breath and pause before your answer, or you can also use a short phrase such as “That’s a good question” or “Let me think about that for a second.” This buys you time to organize your thoughts so that you are happy with the answer you give. This does not mean that these phrases need to be used every time, only when you actually need to buy yourself some time during those more difficult or important questions.
Keep It Short and to the Point
Sometimes, when asked a question, people may feel they have to give a full answer and say whatever comes to mind. This is not the case. When you are asked a question, always start with the main point first. More information can be added thereafter if needed.
State your main point, such as, “I think the reason we have been delayed is due to a lack of communication.” Thereafter, if you would like to or are asked why, you can add your reasoning. “I think this because there were mistakes made on the last project due to a lack of communication, which caused the delay. So, I think this should be the main focus.”
This gives you a structure to follow so that you aren’t overwhelmed trying to form an entire response all at once. Think of this simple communication structure you can fall back on called PREP, which is something I often practise with clients. PREP stands for Point, Reason, Example, Point. You start by saying your main point, give a reason and explain why, provide an example if necessary to strengthen your reasoning, and then return to the main point so that your answer ends with a clear understanding of what you are trying to communicate.
Having a framework to work with when answering questions out of the blue can help you organize your answer and reduce the mental load in the moment as you try to come up with the best response.
Not Knowing the Answer
Sometimes, we are asked a question and we freeze because we feel we are expected to know the answer. The truth is, though, you are not. We aren’t always going to know the answer to everything, and that is okay too. The professional and confident way of handling this situation is to say, “I’m not sure at the moment, but I can look into it and get back to you,” or “Let me look into that and get back to you,” or “Based on what I know at the moment, I would say…”
This shows that even though you don’t have a direct answer, you are trying your best to give a good response instead of quickly trying to come up with something on the spot that doesn’t make much sense. Being confident in what you are saying doesn’t mean you always have to have a response. Confidence comes through when you are able to navigate the answer comfortably, even when you don’t have the confidence in the answer itself.
Final Thoughts
The goal is not to completely avoid these moments when you freeze or be scared of them. The goal is to have tools and strategies to fall back on when something doesn’t go as planned. Remember to pause and give yourself time, practise using communication frameworks, and not feel like every question has to have an answer right away.
The more you become comfortable doing these things, the less pressure you will feel to find the perfect answer right away. Over time, this can allow you to become more comfortable and in control when put on the spot. If you can communicate your point clearly and confidently, that is more important than being perfect.
